Guardian columnist Rebecca Shaw argues for the vital role of intentional friendship in combating social isolation
In a recent Guardian Opinion article, Shaw reflects on personal experiences of depression and community support to argue that introducing friends to one another creates resilient networks essential for mental well-being.
Rebecca Shaw published an opinion piece in The Guardian on 28 May 2026, titled 'There is no greater joy than watching the unique and freaky ways my friends connect with each other'. The article examines the emotional benefits of facilitating connections between existing friends, arguing that expanding social circles creates deeper, more multifaceted relationships that provide essential emotional support.
Shaw draws on personal experiences, including her recovery from a depressive episode supported by her community, to illustrate the value of these connections. She references a recent 40th birthday celebration for a friend referred to as 'Ben', where mutual friends discussed how they met the birthday boy. Shaw notes that many had first met him through her, a fact she describes as bringing her significant joy rather than as a display of social prowess.
The piece cites a quote by C.S. Lewis regarding how different friends bring out different facets of an individual. Shaw argues that each friend augments the experience of being friends, expanding the individual’s identity. She notes that mutual friends engage in activities that may not appeal to her personally, such as playing desktop role-play games or adding tattoos to honour friendships, which she views as evidence of relationships deepening through unique bonds.
Shaw identifies as queer and discusses the importance of remaining open to new friendships later in life, particularly for those who do not fit traditional social norms. She suggests that it can take time to find one’s people, especially for those who have not been living as their full self, and emphasises the need to remain open to possibilities.
The article also details a recent depressive episode Shaw experienced, during which her girlfriend secretly organised for friends to send video messages of support. The messages included contributions from friends of varying durations, with one friend sending a video from a toilet, referencing their background as comedians. Shaw describes feeling "cradled by friendship" and supported by a network that supports each other.
Shaw concludes that building support systems requires intentional effort to cultivate real-life connections. She argues that in a world determined to isolate individuals, friendship may be one of the most important ways people keep each other alive, requiring time, presence, and care.